The darkness. Solitude. The Angst. All things that the average idiot would rather die than face. Thus, he won't face them. Never, or not until way too late. Instead, he (or she, more often than not), shall surround himself with, and pretend to be involved in, fake family bonds, fake friends, fake girlfriend. Talking non-stop. Never being alone with his thoughts. Always being in the passive mode, reacting to what others say, or tossing some random remarks based on what they think others think. Filling his "spare time" (Jesus...) with whatever time-consuming activities he can: a wedding! An office party! Hiding the existential void of their wretched and lousy life. Being ecstatic one moment, then falling into tears the next.

You, by refusing their fake, valium-fueled pretense at happiness, have taken the hard road. The road of facing the fear, accepting it, and defeating it.

The only way to stop falling back into the hole and hurting yourself over and over is to stop trying to climb out. The only way to beat the hole is to accept it: “Here I am. I feel like life, the world, everything, has no meaning. I feel terrible about that conclusion. I feel depressed, and I feel afraid. I’m okay with that.”

Until you can face the abyss of meaninglessness, you will always be running from it, and it will always be chasing you, its edges yawning at your heels. Face it. Go into it. Stand at the bottom and accept that this is where you are. The fear that keeps you resisting is worse than what actually happens when you stop resisting. You can handle this. Let go.

Most people never will. Then, most people will never really be happy with their lives. They will cling onto their delusions, and their delusions will keep damaging them – that’s what delusions do. People are scared of thinking too far – I remember what it feels like. I remember when I started looking into the darkness inside, finding nothing and more nothing – I was worried that if I let my thoughts completely free, I might discover that the hole has no bottom and I might kill myself. I didn’t want to kill myself. In that feeling, the answer was already contained, but I didn’t realize it until I’d gone to the bottom and stood there looking up.

– Delusion Damage, "The Hardest Thing In The World"

Going out alone. Staying home alone. Face the darkness, cross the desert, and reach strength.

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing....only I will remain"

– Frank Herbert, Dune