That sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.

You can't blame yourself for everything. Of course, some things may be your fault, while others not. And instead of blaming others, you can often do something about a lot of your problems. And yet...

  • If someone dumps you, it's their loss, not yours.
  • If a relationship doesn't work, it's their failure, not yours.
  • If you don't love someone, it's their failure to not have made themselves lovable.
  • If someone doesn't love you, it's their failure at seeing your greatness.
  • If someone doesn't understand you, it's their failure at understanding you.
  • If you don't understand someone, it's their failure at making themselves understandable.
  • If someone's angry at you, it's their failure at feeling valid emotions, not your failure in "making" them angry.

Be calm. Be polite. Be understanding and open, kind and curious. Be yourself and live according to your values. Then, whether you get what you want in any given particular case is irrelevant. You can't control everything. Have a system, not a goal. Do your best, but be aware there is a part of randomness, uncertainty, and other people's responsibility: not a me problem.