There is nothing more dangerous than a man with confidence. There is nothing more dangerous than a man that answers only to himself. There is nothing more dangerous than a man that does not need society, but only himself.
Compromises seem necessary only because of inappropriate situations. If you’re involved with the right people, the word “sacrifice” shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary.
– Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
That Harry Browne quote, funny thing: I remembered it as If you’re involved with the right people, the word compromise shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that wording, either. Anyhow, trying compromise just makes you realize that whenever you thought you weren’t compromising enough, you were probably compromising too much already. And of course, we know what to think of sacrifice.
If you use empathy for your game, you’ll notice that different people will respond to different DHVs. Some might be impressed by your corporate job, whereas others by your rebellion against the corporate world.
To younger women, having a car is a DHV. To SWPL older chicks, not having a car might be a DHV. Of course, people with few qualities to demonstrate don't get a pick, but conversely, if you have many qualities, you don't really care which ones you show off, but you do have to make a pick. So you try to analyze first, figure out what particular people will respond to.
And sometimes you stumble upon people, and you wonder. What is a DHV to them? What is their value scale? What do they respect? What is their purpose in life?
And do remember, if your value is too high, people might get jealous, or think you’re too good for them. They’ll usually respond by making fun of some minor imperfection of yours, or try to reframe your qualities as defects. Sure, you can try AMOGging them in return. But AMOGing assholes should be done when necessary, not a situation you’d deliberately spend your leisure time on.
If you find out that what some person responds to, expects from you, or values, is so lame you don’t wanna go there, follow Harry Browne’s advice and associate with other people. Do not waste time trying to change people's value scales if they are too far from yours.
And remember, people are idiots. Most of them are so confused, what they think they want, what they tell you they want, and what they really want are three different things.
Sometimes they don’t really want anything at all. They’re nihilists. If you make no money, they’ll consider you a loser. If you make lots of money, they’ll consider you an immoral sellout. You can't win either way.
Some people will actually not respect you unless you are borderline suicidal (who hates life but is too much of a coward to kill himself) like them, mocking everything, admiring nothing. And if you do reach that pathetic status, all you’ll get is a loser’s solidarity, not genuine respect. Yes, Ayn Rand would be throwing up right now. Yet that is it. Loser drunkards' solidarity, respectfully acknowledging your having reached their level of self-destruction, negativism, self-loathing, life-loathing, and nihilism.
So remember. People are idiots. If you’re reading this, you already care about personal development. They don’t. Thus, you’re way above the 99%. You’re the 1%. So ask yourself the question:
Is this peer group worth impressing?
If it isn’t, get out. There are enough people in the world, and even a PUA doesn’t need that many wings and can only bang that many women a day.
Living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.
– Milan Kundera
How many times have you thought, over a failure to open, a failed opening, a random cockblock interrupting your pick-up, a failed LTR, etc, the famous what if?
We all know of many _what if_s. And yet, we cannot go back and relive our lives. Tough. As a geek, before reading Kundera, I’ve always thought about this in terms of computer games: you always have the save game, load game option. As a kid, I used the escape key, load game, etc. in my dreams to get out of nightmares. Now on the very rare times when I do have nightmares, I usually just kill the menace with my bare hands, fly away, and wake up with a smile.
Anyhow, even if we do live in the Matrix, it would be tough to implement save game/load game for everyone. So? Inner game solution: enjoy life as it is.
Beyond that, if you’re familiar with Texas Hold’em poker, you know that it’s a game of competence, with a random factor that evens out over lots of played hands. Luck evens out. In the long run, when you play enough hands, randomness becomes irrelevant. Small mistakes and what ifs become irrelevant. What remains is your competence.
By curing yourself of oneitis, you’ll also care less about what if’s. You’ll have options. Random ill lucks will become statistically insignificant. You cannot load game, but you can do start a new game.
by Trigger. trigger at inner-game.info